Since David and I returned from our grand European tour, we’ve been living in my childhood home, with my mother and the family dog, Pip. While I know moving back in with your parents isn’t exactly on everyone’s late-twenties bucket list, it’s really been lovely. For one thing, I think something about losing a parent at a relatively young age (in my case, I was twenty when my dad died) shifts the way I think about my family. Even if most of the time we’re just doing regular stuff like watching TV together, going for a walk, or running errands, I really value my time with my mother.
Also, as any of you who know my in real life are already deeply aware, I am absolutely passionately obsessed with my dog, Pip. You know how some parents worry that they’ll finally cave and get a puppy, and then their kids will lose interest? Yeah, I’m not that kid. Pip is thirteen years old and I still think (know) that he is the greatest animal on the planet.
While we’re here, I’m doing a hodge-podge of home and personal projects while applying to jobs (no luck yet, but I’m not exactly rushing), and most importantly, David is working very hard to try to finish his doctoral dissertation. It is all that lies between him and his PhD, and y’all, it is a lot of work. He’s in his office most of the day and has Skype meetings with his advisor regularly. Living at home has allowed us the luxury of time : David has lots to focus on his work, and I have lots to take care of projects and decompress from the world’s most stressful job. I loved my time at the domestic violence shelter/rape crisis center/human trafficking service center but, I mean, as you can guess from the workplace, it was extremely high stress.
So here we are, living a calm and cozy life that feels a bit like a break from real life (but, I must always remind myself, is in fact a real life). I read a lot, I try to cook all the meals and keep the house tidy, and I daydream and worry far too much about what our future holds.
On that note, I’ve got to go tidy the family room and do the dishes. And perhaps have a cup of tea while I’m at it…
Well, it’s been a few months since we finished our trip and you may have noticed a lack of updates on our travels. We got so busy and involved in experiencing our trip that blog-writing fell by the wayside…so I’ll give a quick overview of our last few weeks of the trip.
After our wonderful time in Sweden, we spent about a week in Cologne, Germany. My good friend Peter lives in this city, and it was great to see his life there, experience the city, and meet his girlfriend. We also met up with our friend Matt, who had been in Berlin for a conference and came and spent a night at our AirBnB with us.
it’s really hard to explain this picture except to say that Matt and I made “brelbow” a thing
You may have heard that the Kölner Dom is large : you have been misinformed. It’s impossibly large.
Germany was, as always, a fun opportunity to brush up on our German skills. We’re always rusty, but it’s always fun to practice.
We were good guests and ate all of the delicacy that Peter ordered for us in a restaurant one evening — Mettbrötchen. This consists of…raw ground pork on top of some bread, with raw chopped onions on top of it. It was a deeply challenging food to eat, but Peter and his girlfriend raved about how delicious and beloved this food is.
After another visit to Cipressa — documented in a previous post — we went back to the U.K. Our first stop was a London suburb where we stayed with an online friend of mine, Katharine, at her family home. Internet friends are not (always) serial killers, guys!! Katharine is super nice and not ONCE did she or her parents attempt to kill us. In fact, it was relaxing and fun and delightful to get to know Katharine “IRL,” meet her lovely parents, stay in their beautiful house, and explore their town. Said town happens to be the site of a, er, famous agricultural experiment. What famous agricultural experiment? Well, if you knew as much about the history of statistics as David did, you’d know. 😉
David at Rothamstead
with Katharine in Brick Lane
visting nearby St.Alban’s Abbey
David and I dipped down to Alfriston, England, for a two-day trip. Why Alfriston? Well, we knew we wanted to spend some time in small-town/rural England, but we didn’t know where to go. So we spent one long evening in Cologne choosing. I set up a complex system involving each of us choosing three possibilities from a list, researching one another’s choices, and presenting the options before having a final vote. My goal was that this way, neither of us would feel bad that the town “we” wanted to visit won. In the end, we both felt guilty : David initially chose the town, but I researched it, so we both felt like we were getting our way while denying each other their choice. But we got over that pretty fast once we got to Alfriston and both fell head-over-heels for the town. We stayed in a 13th-century inn…
the Starr Inn
fireplace in the dining room
which provided hiking trail directions & sack lunches for folks wanting to explore the South Downs trail. There were two hike options : one was a 1.5 mile hike of the town, the other was a 13 mile hike to the ocean and back.
We took the 1.5 mile hike the evening we arrived, after visiting the Clergy House, the first property ever purchased by the National Trust. It dates back to around 1350! It was amazing to visit.
We took the other hike the following day. The long hike ended up being more like 15 miles because we occasionally strayed from the path, either on purpose or because we were confused.
And it…was…AMAZING! David had the map, and I had the directions, and together we followed this beautiful hike that took us up into the hills, through pastures of sheep and fields, into forests straight out of the Shire, through little towns, and to the Seven Sisters cliffs on the coast. The entire day was like a dream. We stopped for tea in the afternoon, and when we finally got back to our hotel in the evening, we had time to shower and head downstairs for dinner in the beautiful dining room of the inn. It was honestly one of the best days of the entire summer, and it’s in the short-list for best days of my life. We have a new dream of someday hiking the entire South Downs trail now!
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We returned to Katharine’s home and spent a few more days with her lovely family…and one day with ALL THINGS HARRY POTTER. We spent six hours at Leavesden Studios, where the Harry Potter films were created…but I could have spent days, literally. It was an incredible place to visit and we saw SO much cool behind-the-scenes stuff.
the cupboard under the stairs
Hagrid’s table
Dumbledore’s office
The Weasley kitchen
the Knight Bus
Butterbeer ice cream
Platform nine and three quarters
#4, Privet Drive
Hogwarts Castle
After this excellent finish to our visit to England, Katharine’s lovely dad drove us and Katharine to Cardiff, Wales. We spent two days there, exploring Torchwood landmarks, admiring the bay, visiting the Doctor Who Experience, and visiting the National Museum. Katharine hung out with us for part of the time before heading off on a camping trip with her friends. We are so grateful for her friendship and help!
a Torchwood reference
Laura & Katharine with The Tardis!
National Museum
Our last stop was DUBLIN, and we went hard. After three hours of sleep and an incredibly early flight from Cardiff, we literally went straight to the Guinness Storehouse and had a tour (complete with pints) at 11 AM. Our AirBnB in Dublin was beautiful and cozy, and we had a quiet evening in due to pouring rain.
learning to pull a pint
Guinness Storehouse
our AirBnB
Our final full day of the trip was packed…and amazing. We took a walking-tour of Dublin and learned a lot of history about Ireland. In the afternoon, we saw the Book of Kells, which was truly incredible. In the evening, we ate traditional Irish food and spent the evening in a pub listening to live music.
We got up early on the day of our flight home, in order to have time for fresh doughnuts and a visit to Christ Church Cathedral.
It was hard to believe that our trip was coming to an end, but we enjoyed our last morning nonetheless, and left Ireland even more in love with the country and each other than we were when we’d entered it. Our long flight home passed over Greenland, which has been since added to our list of future trips. I’m so, so glad that we did this slightly crazy trip when we had the chance, and so, so grateful that we were able to do so.
In case you don’t know any of David and my background as a couple (which you probably do, because if you’re reading this, you’re probably either my mom or David’s — hi Mom!), I’ll give a brief overview.
David and I met in the spring of 2011 in the city of Tübingen, Germany. We attended different universities but both schools sent students to the same study-abroad program. (In fact, the program was part of the Oregon University System — which I attended — and David’s university system in Arizona was testing out whether they could send students to the same program successfully. David was one of two students from Arizona whereas the vast majority of our cohort attended school in Oregon, including myself. I think Arizona’s test was a MAJOR success for me personally. Thank you, Arizona university system.)
We first saw each other at a Greek restaurant on April 1st, but didn’t speak until the next day during a walking-tour of Tübingen. I noticed David’s boat shoes and polo shirt and thought he looked like the kind of preppy boy with whom I’d attended high school. This made him seem familiar and unthreatening to me, so I awkwardly walked up to him, stuck out my hand, and said, “Hi, I’m Laura.” We chatted throughout the rest of the tour, along with another person who has become one of our dearest friends, Jenny.
At the time that we were attending study abroad, I was in a relationship. I had met my then-boyfriend Peter (still a dear friend today) in high school and we dated for the first three years of college. He saw me through incredibly difficult experiences, including the death of my father the year before I met David. Peter and I were already drifting apart by the time I arrived in his home country of Germany, but didn’t formally break up until a few days after I returned to the United States. So, when I met David, I wasn’t looking for a significant other, and I didn’t think about him in that light for quite a while. His experience of meeting me was rather different, but being the respectful person he is, I did not know that for a long time.
Throughout the semester, David, Jenny, and I became friends. Jenny and I were (and are) very close and David often joined us on outings. In the final week of the semester, through a series of conversations, David and I developed a deep emotional bond. In the weeks afterwards, while we traveled our separate ways (David solo, and me with my family), we each began to realize the extent of our feelings for each other. (Well, David had known since he met me that he was attracted to me, but had quickly pushed those feelings aside out of respect for the fact that I had a boyfriend. I hadn’t realized that I was interested in David — probably also out of respect for my boyfriend, subconsciously — until I was writing in my journal while in Italy with my family. I still remember the moment that I realized that I was writing an awful lot about David, paused, and quietly said, “oh, shit” aloud.)
We ended up finally deciding to try a long-distance relationship in October of that year, and here we are six years later, married and increasingly smitten with one another.
The point of this long tangent is that Tübingen, while sort of the ‘birthplace of our relationship,’ really felt less significant to us than Bloomington (where we had most of our visits, where we moved in together, where David proposed to me, and where we lived for two and a half years after we got married). So much so that we nearly skipped visiting Tübingen, because neither of us felt that it was important enough to us to visit. It would be fun if it made sense, we thought, but wasn’t really a priority. When we were planning to meet up with my mom in Zurich — a plan that fell through due to some family stuff — we booked a plane ticket from London to Stuttgart and David found us a place to stay for a couple nights in Tübingen. It was less expensive to fly to Stuttgart than Zurich, and we’d be able to take a train to Zurich and meet my mother there before continuing on our trip.
As Tübingen grew closer, we each got more and more excited. Rolling into the city on the “Airport-Sprinter” bus from the Stuttgart Airport, we looked at each other and asked, “how could we have considered skipping Tübingen?”
We stayed in the most ridiculous AirBnB, a bizarre, tiny turret-shaped house beside one of the streams that leads into the Neckar River. You have to cross between two apartment buildings, down a driveway, through a lawn and down a set of stairs to even reach it. It was absurd but delightful and took us forever to find, even with directions. After laying down our packs and taking quick showers, we set out for dinner at the Neckarmüller, a beloved Tübingen restaurant where we enjoyed Käsespätzle & Flammkuchen, and of course beer (helles for David, dunkles for me, as always). Our conversation during the meal turned emotional as we reflected on our love for one another. The only detail I’ll share is that I knocked over David’s glass (and broke it) while reaching for his hand because my eyes were too blurry with tears to see properly. After finishing the meal — and apologizing profusely for the broken glass to our server (who said merely, “oh, es geht” — oh, it happens — with a tone that indicated it must happen about ten times a day — indeed, we’d heard it happen behind the bar about thirty minutes earlier) — we went out to enjoy another German tradition : ice cream cones while strolling.
with a sign to tell our friend Jenny we missed her
before I knocked over his beer
our tiny castle
worth documenting
The next day, I finally got to eat some Krauterquark, one of my favorite foods. It’s basically a soft yogurt-cheese with herbs. It drives me nuts that I can’t buy it in the United States, and I’ve been saying to myself that I just need to learn to make it for six years. Maybe I’ll finally do that this fall.
We also visited our old class building — peeking our heads inside to see unfamiliar teachers — and walked around the town, commenting on changes we noticed (and more often, on how many things had stayed the same). Dinner was Döner from a beloved shop by the train station, followed by a bus ride up to Waldhäuser Ost — the dorm buildings where all the students had resided. Jenny, David, and I all had lived in building #15. If I recall correctly, Jenny was on the fourth floor. David was on the first, and I the eighth. We went for walks in the nearby woods and fields, where David had enjoyed long walks when we lived there, and where I used to run.
our class building
hall outside classrooms
Waldhäuser Ost!
beautiful field
Our visit was brief, but by the time we left we were already hatching plans about a couples trip in future with Jenny and her husband Matt. I’m very glad we ended up staying in Tübingen, despite our initially casual attitude towards it.
The title of this post is, of course, a reference to the wonderful song. I’ve no idea who wrote it, but I think of this version :
I wrote this on July 8, early in the morning, in the kitchen in Cipressa.
July 11th is my father’s birthday. Born in 1948, he would be 69. He passed away seven years ago after a long and difficult battle with cancer.
I always miss my dad, and there isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think about him. We were very close, sharing a love of poetry, waking early, going for walks, running, and toast & tea. (I didn’t fully develop my love of tea until the past few years.) In Cipressa, my grief has been heightened. Probably some of this has to do with the time of year — I often feel grief more strongly around his birthday, the anniversary of his death, my birthday, and the winter holidays. And probably some of it has to do with vague memories of being here with him, in this house in Cipressa, when I was seven years old.
The thing about grief as I experience it — or one of the many ‘things’ — is the futility. No matter how strongly I feel pain, or sadness, or the gaping hole of his absence — and I feel all of these things very strongly sometimes — it makes no difference. I could tear down a building in my agony, and he would still not come back. Sometimes, I don’t even acknowledge my feelings to David, because it feels so pointless. We’ll be sitting across the room from one another, me twisted up with the agony of loss, and I think, If I tell David I’m missing Daddy, he’ll hold me, and I’ll cry, and then eventually I’ll stop and move onto the next activity because what else is there to do? Why bother?
On the anniversary of my dad’s death as well as on his birthday, I like to enjoy his favorite things — Indian food, Beck’s beer, poetry, jazz, and, if possible, strawberry shortcake the way his mom made it. Maybe we’ll ‘celebrate’ his birthday the usual way next week when we are in Cologne, as we’ll have a whole apartment and not just a bedroom to use, and we’ll be with my friend Peter, who knew my dad.
Last night, David and I were walking up to the tower that overlooks Cipressa. We were talking about vivid memories — which moments our brains have held onto with sharpness and color. Most of my vivid memories are from traumatic moments in my life, some of which involve my father and his illness and death. But suddenly, mercifully, a different memory popped into my head. It was the memory of a dream. In the year after my dad died, I had dozens of dreams about him. In almost all of them, he was dying for some reason or another, it was my job to save him, and I always failed. But in the very first dream that I had after my father’s death, I am on a stage, participating in a math competition (nervously, as someone not particularly talented at mathematics). I look to the audience, and am surprised to see Daddy, sitting in the front row. Our eyes meet, and he smiles at me and makes the “I Love You” symbol in sign language. And I feel like I can do whatever scary thing the competition throws at me — because my dad is still here, somehow, and he loves me.
After our busy weekend, we still had a little time to spend here in the glorious city of London. Tomorrow we leave on a little weekend getaway for David’s birthday (as he proofreads for me and does not yet know where we’re going, you’ll have to wait to find out), so I am taking a little pause to record a bit about the last several days.
On Tuesday we embarked on a walking tour designed by our friend Matt. Matt lived in London for a year while his wife (also our dear friend) Jenny was completing a master’s program here. The walking tour was very enjoyable and mostly along the river. We began the day with time in my favorite part of London — Parliament Square.
me & a bunch of other tourists
another photo of Victoria Tower
We had a very enjoyable walk along the river, and saw, among other buildings, the Globe Theatre.
enjoying the Thames
Tower Bridge in background
Shakespeare mural
the Globe
We were very ready for lunch by the time we got to Borough Market! We began our meal with some vegetable samosas and juice. This was followed by one order of steak & ale pie and one of fish & chips (we shared everything). It was all very good, especially as we’d been walking all morning.
We continued our walking-tour and ended at The George Inn, a VERY old pub where supposedly William Shakespeare dined (as well as, obviously much later, Charles Dickens). Jenny & Matt sent us £10 before we left on our trip and told us to “get a couple of pints on them” — so of course we did so! I had cider and David had Old Speckled Hen, a favorite of his dad’s. On our way back to our AirBnB we crossed the London Bridge and had good views of Tower Bridge, which I adore.
Cider at the George
The George Inn
a man & his map
On London Bridge, a bit windy
On Wednesday we went to Paddington Station to pay a visit to Paddington Bear. David has never read these books but I adored them. We are planning to read them together later this year. 🙂 It was a lot of fun to see the painted bench & the statue in the station.
Next, we went to the British Museum. David has very fond memories of visiting it with his parents and sister, Mary, when their family traveled abroad about ten years ago. We visited the rooms about the British Isles (both pre-Roman & Roman Britain) and saw Lindow Man (entirely by accident) which was pretty crazy. Then we stumbled upon, and followed, the LGBTQ trail in the museum. My favorite part was the cocoa cups owned by a British lesbian couple in the 19th century.
After this, we went up to Hampstead to visit the Burgh House & Hampstead Museum where our dear friend Jenny completed her internship while getting her Master’s in London. Hampstead is SUCH a lovely, quiet neighborhood. We chatted for a long time with the woman at the front desk at Burgh House and heard from her about how different artifacts of the house survived WWII, and the different people who lived in the house over the years. She also told us that one of the main ways they stay afloat is by renting out the beautiful hall for weddings. After browsing the house & museum displays, we had a lovely tea in the garden café there.
enjoying our tea
cool sculpture in the garden
tea & scones!
the hall at Burgh House
We ended our long day with a quick stop at the Twinings tea shop & museum (I drink at least one cup of Twinings brand tea every day) and dinner at Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese, another very old pub. (Lots of those in London.)
our dinner
Samuel Johnson with a bird on his head
the parrot that lives in Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese
see? VERY old
Thursday was our last day (until August) in London and was a Harry Potter day! (If you know me literally at all, you may have caught on that Harry Potter is my favorite thing in the universe.) We visited a few famous sites, including Leavesden Market (AKA Diagon Alley), the Millenium Bridge (which is featured in the movie Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince), & of course visited Platform 9¾ where we had our pictures taken.
Leadenhall Market
Leadenhall Market
Millennium Bridge
the Leaky Cauldron is now a blue optician’s shop
Quick lunch back at the Borough Market so that I could FINALLY get my much-longed-for Prosecco spritzer. We had samosas and artisinal jammie dodgers.
Then, we visited Tower Bridge (my beloved!) and David took me on a fancy date night — first, dinner at an Italian place along the Thames, and then drinks at a bar on the 32nd floor of the Shard (!!!). It was SO fancy. I think the hostess could sense the Velcro on my sandals.
Tower Bridge ❤
on Tower Bridge
at dinner
32nd floor!
wow so high up!
watching the drawbridge on Tower Bridge open for a TINY boat
on our way out. getting glared at by fancy hostess for our dorky selfies.
We had such a good time in London, but kind of ran ourselves ragged. That was partly because our accommodations tended to be waaay on the edge of town. So, once we were out for the day, we usually stayed out. Plus, there was just so much to fit in! We’re excited to spend another day or two there in August without the big checklist hanging over our heads. It was definitely a great way to start the summer off with a bang! Until August, London! 🙂
Our journey from the airport to our first AirBnB in London was very long. A bus, 2 trains, and a bit of walking later, we arrived at the first place (we moved to a different one on Monday). After washing up a bit, we went to a local pub and had meat pies and beer (or in my case, cider). Y’all. Random pub on the edge of London and the food was SO GOOD!! Yes, we were super hungry, but I think it was also just really good food.
David ordering our meal
I had Steak & Ale pie and David had Steak & Kidney pie. We ended up swapping plates as I wanted mash more and he wanted chips.
Finally eating a meal after a long day!
Our first experience of staying in an AirBnB that we booked has been…underwhelming. It is very inexpensive, and although it takes a while to get into the city it’s very doable. However, it’s also pretty grimy…and the bed is excruciating. We finally figured out that it’s actually broken (the bed) which explains the bizarre and epic dips in the mattress. At about 1 AM, early on Saturday, we figured out a solution. David slept atop the comforter, diagonally on the mattress (which is pretty comfortable actually, it avoids the dips) and I slept on the floor on the mattress topper. David used a towel as a “blanket” and I use a sheet.
our sleeping arrangement
with the bed back together, having tea in the morning
You know what…it worked.
Our first full day in London was Saturday. And wow, what a day it was!! We had a slower morning than hoped, but eventually got on a bus to downtown London. Yes, it was a double-decker bus, and yes we rode on the top right up front. It was very fun and we could see where the inspiration for the Knight Bus, squeezing through tight spaces, came. From up top your perspective is wider and it seemed like we were constantly squeezing through tight spaces. At one point a bunch of tree branches smacked into the window right in front of my face, and I couldn’t stop giggling.
Where the Queen buys wine. Note the golden “Royal Warrant” above the door.
Once we got downtown, we boarded our hop-on, hop-off bus tour. We saw St.James’ Palace and some of the shops with which the Royal Family does business. The shoe shop where Prince Philip gets his shoes, for example, sells shoes for £2000. The place where the Queen buys her wine has an average bottle go for £24,000 (!!!).
After just a few stops, however, the tour guide mentioned that it was the observance of the Queen’s birthday that day, and that we should get off the bus if we wanted to see the festivities and have a chance at seeing the Royal Family. We got off a couple stops later (after frantically whispering, and being confused as to why no one else got off) and walked across Green Park, following the crowds, to the gate at Buckingham Palace.
And. Y’all. We saw the end of the Trooping of the Color, including seeing THE QUEEN and many other members of the Royal Family. I was most excited to see the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, and her children George and Charlotte. I adore Kate’s sense of style and her personality seems genuine and kind as well. (Fun fact : we are both 5’10”.) We also saw the Royal Air Force fly over the Palace which was really exciting and cool.
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We were so floored by this experience that we walked away saying to each other, “we just saw the Queen of England. THE QUEEN!” There were large crowds streaming out of Green Park along with us. We went to a Marks & Spencer store across the street (thanks Jenny for the recommendation!) and got sandwiches, water, & a Victoria sponge muffin to try. It was all very tasty and our experience was heightened by the group of women (we think it was a bachelorette party — or as they much more cutely call it here, a hen party) sitting nearby, screaming the words along to “Man! I Feel Like A Woman” by Shania Twain while drinking champagne. I was surprised (and pleased) that British women know all the words to that song, too. David commented, “see? This is why drinking in public is a good thing.”
surprisingly good sandwiches
After lunch, we got back on the tour bus and finished the “circuit.” We saw many exciting sights, including the Victoria Tower (which CONTAINS a bell called Big Ben, but which is NOT Big Ben. okay folks. we got it.), Houses of Parliament, Westminster Abbey, and a peek down the long lane into Buckingham Palace.
back on the bus!
a cool lion & the London Eye
St.Paul’s Cathedral
FIRE outside a former-bank-turned-pub that David would like us to visit
our intrepid tour guide
Big B — ahem, Victoria Tower
St.Bride’s Church — supposedly a father who needed inspiration for his daughter’s wedding cake woke up hungover on the street, looked up to see this, and invented the tiered wedding cake
The tour ended at The Tower of London, where we could board a River Cruise included in our bus tour ticket. Before doing that, we visited the London Wall, built in 200 AD by the Romans. It’s always so bizarre to see structures of that age just…sitting there, in the midst of people eating ice cream and talking on their cell phones.
We also visited All Hallows By The Tower church. It is the oldest church in the City of London (which is not the same thing as London, but a part of London) and I was pleased to see a notice in their entryway that they are an Inclusive Church. It was a peaceful and fascinating place to visit. We even went downstairs into a small “chapel” to St.Clare which was VERY small and a bit spooky — turns out it used to be a tomb.
We then went down to the docks by the Tower of London and went on our river cruise. We weren’t super impressed, but it was fun to be on the water and see many of the sights of London from Father Thames himself. I fell in love with Tower Bridge. What a gorgeous structure!
London Eye
Houses of Parliament, I think
we drank so much water
Tower Bridge!
The Tower of London & Traitors Gate
As we left the river cruise, we happened upon this awesome statue of Boudica. We learned about her in a documentary about the history of London that we watched a couple of months ago. Boudica was a Queen of the Celtic Iceni tribe, and she led an uprising against the Romans in 60 AD and died after it failed. She seems like a complete badass. If anyone knows of a good novelization of her story, let me know.
Boudicca
warrior Queen
Sunday was busy, too. We got up early and headed into the city to attend church at Westminster Abbey. It was an amazing experience and I’m SO glad we went. I expected it to be packed, but there really weren’t so many of us there. We were actually in the second row of seats (there were several seating sections, going out from the altar in three directions). Yes, the choir was there and sang. Yes, it was gorgeous. Yes, the boys really do wear those frilly collars. (And yes, they really are little kids. It was very cute to see how, although they were very focused during singing, they scratched their noses and stared at the ceiling during the sermon and prayers like any normal kid.) The sermon was given by Reverend Jane Sinclair, and dealt with how stories tell the truth more than history sometimes can. Receiving communion was, for me, a really wonderful spiritual experience. I always get a lot out of communion, but this was a pretty special one.
at the West door, where one enters for church
in the queue for church
modern Saints at the West Door : Martin Luther King, Jr., & others
St.Margaret’s chapel
Sunday afternoon we went SHOPPING. Not exactly a complement to the morning, but fun nonetheless. I was very excited to go to a store called Long Tall Sally that specializes in clothes for women 5’8″ and up! I bought a lovely dress and tried on pajamas pants that were at least 6″ too long.
Today (Monday) we moved to our new AirBnB, which is SO MUCH NICER. Photos to come I am sure. We have an en suite bathroom, coffee and tea station in the room, and the location is way better. The bed is still not super comfortable (when will the world learn that spring mattresses are stupid and awful?? I will never understand) but given that I already fell asleep on it twice by accident, I think it will be fine.
After dropping off our bags, we went to take a ride on the London Eye! It was super fun.
Afterwards we got lunch by the river (hot dogs and frozen yogurt from fancy food carts) and then came back to the AirBnB, where we have been relaxing (and where I have been finishing this EPIC blog post) all afternoon. In a few minutes, we’re headed to the park across the street with sandwiches, and then we’re planning to go to bed at like literally 8:45 or 9 PM. We’ve been walking well over 10,000 steps per day (I can confirm this due to my FitBit’s enthusiastic buzzing) and getting usually a bit under six hours of sleep. 😀 This is obviously not sustainable!!
If you got through this huge blog post, kudos to you. We’re excited to spending the rest of the week continuing to explore lovely old London town!
David and I leave tomorrow night (!!!) for our nine-week adventure in the U.K. and Europe. We have a long itinerary involving lots of time in London and in Liguria, Italy, as well as trips to Sweden, Germany, Switzerland, Denmark, The Netherlands, Ireland, and Cardiff. (Also one mystery location — I have planned a weekend trip for David’s 28th birthday, which is in 9 days — so I can’t tell you where we’re going yet in case he looks at my blog!) I have been planning my bag for this trip since we decided to travel in February. We got super cheap tickets ($100 per person!! to Edinburgh!! from New York!! no I am not joking and yes I am FAIRLY sure we’ll get to sit down!) which means that they are bare bones tickets. We get 22 lbs of hand baggage — nothing more. That includes carry-on and personal item. No checked bags. Etc. And not even just for this reason but just for general ease of travel, I really wanted to do this whole trip with one bag. I mean, I have smaller bags WITHIN my one bag…but on travel days it will be me + backpack. Super simple.
Today I thought I would take photos of my bag and its contents, and explain what all I am bringing! Luckily we’re going to parts of the world where we can easily buy anything we need, but I’m hopeful I won’t need to make many necessities purchases so I can save my pounds, euros, and Swiss francs for souvenirs. 😀
ta-da!The bag I purchased for the trip is the eBags TLS Mother Lode Weekender Convertible JunioreBags TLS Mother Lode Weekender Convertible Junior. I read lots of reviews and chose it for several reasons : the backpack straps are padded, it’s really very small and fits under the seat in front of you on a plane if needed, it has various organizer compartments, fun bright color (which it looks like they no longer make!), and a low price. I really liked the Tom Bihn bags I saw but they were WAY out of my price range. I got this bag for $88 (normal price $110) with a coupon. I took it on a shorter trip and March and really liked it. I also noticed that it fits in the tiny overhead compartment on a very small plane I rode on — it’s good for tight spaces. I love the bright orange lining too, just very cheerful! 🙂
There are three main front compartments — the small slash pocket (currently empty, but where my boarding passes and such will go), the front compartment, and the “brain” (the little pocket that sits on top of the bag — that’s what I was taught to call this when I went to backpacking school!).
toiletries
brain pocket
front pocket
In the front pocket, I have my liquids bag, makeup bag, pajamas (capri pants and a soft t-shirt), glasses (sunglasses and regular), SPF-protection cardigan, journal, clutch (with passport, wallet, and phone), and waterproof phone bag. I ended up dumping out some toiletries between the bigger photo and the one of just my toiletries bag. My husband is carrying a razor handle that we’ll share, and packets of blades for each of us (we use Dollar Shave Club and he gets fancier blades because face > legs) In the “brain” compartment I have mostly “comfort items.” (I put them in the “brain” to make them easy to access, but also as a little joke. I have an anxiety disorder and my “brain” requires a lot of “comfort” sometimes.) My mini Hermione doll, eyemask for sleeping, and my little snail pouch that is literally always beside my bed — I’ll put lipbalm and eyedrops back into it once I get through security. It also has a mini flashlight, my headphones, and a calming cross (it’s a little wooden cross that fits perfectly in your hand — I hold onto it when I’m nervous or sad and it’s very comforting in a tactile way).
the mesh, flat compartmentOn one side of the main compartment, I have my Pardon My Trench rainjacket from Columbia Sportswear. I love the cute color and the chic look of the “trench” style. It’s also very lightweight and waterproof. I also have a little zip-top tote bag for longer days of sightseeing — big enough that we can carry sandwiches and water and a layer. Plus, my hairbrush and Kindle (which is loaded with new books).
main compartmentOn the other side of the main compartment is the largest section. I packed three packing cubes of clothes, plus my Teva sandals and little black purse. That little orange pouch comes with the bag and snaps onto the edge, which I love.
I probably tried on at least ten pairs of sandals in the process of choosing ones for this trip. It came down to these Tevas vs. Chacos. I ended up going with the Teva Terra Float Nova for a few reasons : they are super lightweight (helpful for packing and for less fatigue after long days of walking), have a softer footbed, and were less expensive. So far they’ve been good although there’s already a teeny bit of fraying on one strap (I’ve been breaking them in). I hope they prove to be the right choice.
I packed my clothes in three packing cubes : one big green on for “bottoms” and a dress, one half-size pink one for underwear and socks, and one small green cube for tops. I haven’t posted pictures of my underwear because…that felt odd. That said, I have about 5 pairs of underwear plus 2 pairs of little bike shorts to wear under the dress. I’m packing 2 bras (one tan, sports bra — I got a high-neck sports bra that will look cute peeking out from my black dress and v-neck shirt) and wearing one onto the plane. I also have about 5 pairs of socks! My swimsuit is in my husband’s bag because we packed the swimsuits together, figuring they’ll share a ziploc when wet.
topsFor tops, I have one black tank top (“muscle tee” technically…for showing off…all my muscles?), one lime-yellow (? what is this color) t-shirt, one navy v-neck, and 2 striped tops (black and white and green and white). All are super lightweight and roll up teensy-tiny, plus they dry super fast. The navy one is from Victoria’s Secret and I’ve had it for probably about 3 or 4 years. All the other shirts are from Madewell.
bottomsFor bottoms, I have UPF-blocking black pants (something between thin sweatpants and leggings), athletic shorts, 2 skorts, and a black maxi dress.
To my fellow one-bag travelers : yes I know that 2 skorts is silly. BUT I LOVE THESE SKORTS. HOLY WOW. SO MUCH. I’ve had the maroon one since February and wore it to work ALL THE TIME. Also to church. Also to the grocery store. Also on a hike. Also on dates. ETC ETC. It is stretchy, comfy material, it has a TON of pockets (including a hidden passport pocket!! and a hidden credit card pocket!! and 3 ZIPPER pockets!!), and built in shorts (with ANOTHER POCKET ON THEM! no joke!). They are fairly high-waisted (comfy and flattering) and are knee-length (hit at the knee on me, probably just past the knee on most women as I’m tall — I do wish they made these in a tall length!) so they’ll be appropriate for going into cathedrals and such. The blue one is new for the trip. They’re kinda pricey ($88) but I got the blue one for $58 with a promotion they’re doing.
I found that maxi dress on a clearance rack at an independent “adventure outfitters” store back in Indiana. It is actually long enough on me (never happens) and has pockets. Thank you, Mountain Hardware!
little thingsThis tiny orange pouch has a lot of small, semi-random items that I wanted quick access to and which needed a home. This includes charger cables (iPhone, Kindle, and fitbit), tweezers, a few makeup wipes, a headband, laundry soap papers, floss, and menstrual supplies. I use a menstrual cup which I love and which makes traveling super easy. Obviously you can always buy supplies on a trip, but the convenience of always being prepared is great. I tried the Diva Cup in college and never found it comfortable to insert/remove, but I find the Lily Cup compact to be very comfortable, and it folds into that little pink case and can fit into a pocket (even a women’s jeans pocket).
my travel outfitAs per usual, I’m wearing my heaviest stuff on the plane. Blue jeans, a pink t-shirt, a greige sweater (late Christmas gift from David — he’d hidden it so I wouldn’t see it before Christmas, which takes a lot of effort since we shared a very small apartment — and he found it again in May), Harry Potter themed scarf that was a going-away gift (I actually got two, from two amazing friends — the other is mostly white and I worried it might get dirty with travel, whereas this one is mostly black and will not show smudges as easily), watch/ring/earrings, compression socks, and my beloved Reebok Skyscape Runaround sneakers. The most comfortable sneakers ever made. Plus, a hankie for my pocket. 🙂
travel binder!And fiiiinally, my pride and joy : my travel binder! There’s a secret pocket on the back of the backpack which is meant for a laptop but where I am bringing my binder! I would be remiss to not mention how incredibly helpful I found Angela from the blog blue i style’s post on creating a travel binder! I used her printable itinerary pages, and incorporated many of her suggestions. In my binder, I have an itinerary (still finalizing it — it’s a nine week trip, y’all) as well as maps, flight/train/bus confirmations, walking directions, tickets for activities, AirBnB receipts and information, travel health insurance details, copies of important documents, and even some word search and sudoku pages for when we get bored. 🙂
Just a little more time to plan, load music onto my phone, triple-check that it’s a good pair of earbuds…and off we go!!
We are in a strange phase, David and I. I have one week (one! week!) left at my job, and the apartment is becoming more and more a moving zone of cardboard boxes and plastic totes. We sold two bookshelves and they were picked up yesterday, leaving empty rectangular spots where they used to live. Early next week, David will drive the car, packed full of artwork and other fragile or precious belongings, to my mother’s house. He’ll fly back to Indiana to finish packing up our home, and then we will have one last weekend here. A last workday, a few farewell dinners, and we’ll be rolling out of town in a rented moving truck together, waving goodbye to our relationship’s “hometown.” I am zig-zagging between exhilaration at the future — like standing on a cliff at the ocean, feeling the breeze on my face — and grief at the ending of this special chapter. One moment I am imagining our travels, hardly able to wait until we leave, and the next I’m in tears, reminiscing about the wonderful friends we’ve made here and the many little places around town that have become our homes.
On the horizon waits a whirlwind gift of a trip. We’ve been writing our “top three” priorities for the many cities we’ll visit, trying to make sure we don’t over-pack our itinerary. We’re trying to make sure we don’t over-pack our bags, either : allowed just 22 pounds each on the airplane, we’ll be carrying everything we bring on our backs. (Look for an upcoming post where I show everything I’m bringing! It’s been fun to carefully plan this.) I don’t even know what we, or our lives, will look like in August. We have plans for a slow fall — David will have nothing to do but his dissertation, and I’m hoping to focus on a variety of projects, including taking a course in making organizational printables and starting a wee etsy shop for a little income. I’ll go help my best friend Lindsey get settle in her new home in Idaho, and we’ll make our way even further west for some time with David’s family.
The summer and fall seasons are going to be such opposites, and contain so much variety. In the last few years, our lives have felt very routine. David has continued to do all his “student things.” Teaching, writing, learning. Once I started working as an advocate at a rape crisis center/domestic violence shelter, things settled down into a rhythm. Given that my job doesn’t have any holidays or breaks (unlike school), we rarely traveled. I worked Monday through Friday, on Saturdays I ran and we did fun things, and on Sundays, we went to church. The rhythm became sweeter with time, and although we have loved it, I think it will be exciting to break completely out of that pattern and into something very, very different. A summer of constant change, motion, and new life. A fall of quiet, finishing up projects (in David’s case, his doctoral dissertation), and bedding down. These patterns match the seasons, and feel appropriate for that reason. When is summer not a season of frenetic energy, or change, of life? When is fall not a time for tying up loose ends, bedding down — preparing for winter?
Living out this new rhythm will bring change — and that brings challenge (for me at least) — but I am hopeful that with constant reflection and plenty of self-care, I will be okay. Maybe even great. 🙂
Two more weeks in the City of Bloomington, where David and I have shared the vast majority of our relationship. The city of our first date, our first kiss, our first shared home. The city where we got engaged, where we both earned master’s degrees, and where I had my first full-time job.
I am looking through hundreds of photos, trying to cobble together a photo album of our four years in Bloomington. And as I look through these photos, I’m reminded of one of the things I love most about David, one of his qualities that made me fall for him in the first place: his ability to find life and joy in anything, anywhere. Understand that this isn’t an intentional quality. This isn’t David thinking, “well this is pretty crummy, how can I make it special?” This is just David’s eyes, and how they see.
These are photos of us where we got a take-out pizza and sat on the hillside of a middle school, watching the sunset over budget apartment buildings and pawn shops and a run-down bowling alley. To a cynic, we were eating crappy food on a dirty, littered hill looking out at run-down buildings on an impoverished side of town. David didn’t see that. He saw a picnic on a grassy hillside, watching the sun set.
There we are that first summer, reading magazines in the library to enjoy the free air-conditioning. Cuddling with puppies at the smelly pet store in the mall. Splashing through a tunnel (overpass) in a (paved) creek. Day after day of beautiful moments that he created for us out of his grad student stipend, his creativity, and a good eye for beauty. The public pool became a private oasis, the back bedroom (with a laptop on a chair), a dinner theatre.
This ability of David’s, to see the world as beautiful and interesting and exciting in every situation, is one that has helped us through so many days. I know that wherever we end up settling next, I will be leaning in beside him to see our new home through his eyes.
I love fall & winter (& early spring). I have never liked heat or humidity — childhood summers were best when we escaped to the Bay Area, California to visit family and have a respite from hot & humid New York. Summer is difficult for me. I’ve actively worked on cultivating a love for it over the past several years — but it isn’t a comfortable place. I hate sweating, I hate the anxiety and self-consciousness of shorts and sleeveless dresses and swimsuits. It is harder to hide with so much daylight and warmth.
Fall & winter brought all kinds of favorites : first my brother’s birthday (where I could hang around, bugging him and his friends, and got to eat a piece of birthday cake), then Halloween, and on into November : my birthday (complete with party, cake, and presents) and Thanksgiving — watch the Macy’s parade in person or on Television, getting a chocolate turkey to eat, and the big meal with my family. Finally, real winter would begin in December, with the promise of snow days (only if you did all your homework and put a spoon under your pillow), Christmas, and winter vacation.
Cold weather means other, smaller delights, too : long flannel pajamas, baking (& enjoying the heat from the oven instead of shying away from it), hot tea in evenings and not just mornings, boot socks, candles, and a gentle push inside, towards the chess board and the bookshelves. Cold weather is an excuse to turn inwards, not in a navel-gazing way, but towards each other, towards processing and settling down and internalizing. Starting on November 1st, I listen to at least part of the Rachmaninov Vespers every single day until spring. Cold season is definitely my season.
I’ve already been planning our holidays (we won’t be traveling this year, due to my job) and starting to think about how it will be to have our first Christmas just-us-two. Every year of my life, except last year, I’ve celebrated Christmas with my mother (and most years with my brother, and until his death, also my father), at our home, in New York. Most years, I’ve been with our dog Pip, too! Last year we spent Christmas with David’s family. But this year I will work on December 23rd, then have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day on the weekend (very glad for how the calendar worked out this year), and return to work on the 26th. And although I am nervous about having the holidays with just us two, I am also a little bit excited about something new and different, and about working on our own traditions for the little family we have become.
Sunny Skied Laura 